Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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