New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
