Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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