If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
