I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
