K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize