it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
