so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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