I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize