The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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