Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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