he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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