How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
operation harelip BJ is a go
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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