4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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