Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
