I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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