He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
