This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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