so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
