Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
