Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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