No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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