Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
