The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
