Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
