her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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