It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
