I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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