the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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