He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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