chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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