Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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