Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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