You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
