I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
no more duck duck goose at the bar
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
