Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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