what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
