You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
