He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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