you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
