she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
