I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
