Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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