New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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