You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
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