currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize