I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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