dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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