She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
