he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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