Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
