Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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