THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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