im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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