Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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