ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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