I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
