I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I wish I only lived at night.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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