All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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