goodnight i made you a song goodbye
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
