I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
