yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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