I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
