Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
